Some young women are going to extreme lengths in the pursuit of a big derriere, with many opting for a Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) to endow themselves with the necessary volume and pertness.

If you can rest a wine glass on your butt at a cocktail party, you’ve probably got the size and projection just about right.

It seems that many of these women are following a trend set by a celebrity, who might or might not have a real butt in the first place. Plastic surgeons talk about women coming into their clinic to request a JLo or a Kim Kardashian.

I don’t see any harm in changing your hairstyle or your make-up to follow a trend, if that’s what you like to do, but I think the line should be drawn at surgically changing any body parts.

Big butts are currently more popular than usual, but what happens when some waif-like creature comes along and becomes the next pop culture icon? When you decide that big-bottomed women like Kim and JLo are, like, so yesterday, what are you going to do with your surgically enhanced booty?

Of course, if you created your own derriere, there’s also a possibility that you can un-create it, too. This season you pump up the volume; and if the androgynous look is popular next season, you can liposuction that ass right out of your jeans.

I recently read about a woman, a reality TV “star” in her early twenties, who opted for the BBL. Before the surgery she looked chubby, chiefly because of the food she ate and her lack of physical exercise.

Her surgeon liposuctioned fat from her stomach and thighs, processed it, and injected it into her bottom. While he reshaped her body, the procedure was streamed live over Snapchat for the surgeon’s followers to watch. It seems that the surgeon also fancies himself as a bit of a reality star.

What in God’s name is happening to us? By publicising the procedure, this woman (abetted by her surgeon) is sending out the message that you can have a shapely body without having to eat sensibly or work out – the healthy way of doing things.

I think she is setting herself up for disappointment. If she doesn’t do something about her lifestyle, she’s just going to keep gaining weight. And guess where most of that weight is going to go? Yep, the place with the highest concentration of fat cells. Indeed, there is a good chance that her butt will morph into an enormous blob, making it impossible for her to sit down. She’ll look like Nicki Minaj on steroids. I think I’d rather stick a red-hot poker into my eyes than have to look at that lot.

If only these big-bottomed ladies had kept their butts to themselves, but they wanted to share them with the rest of the world. So they began taking selfies of their butts, which became known as belfies. These belfies were posted on social media, thereby influencing many impressionable girls and young women. It soon became acceptable for non-celebrities to post photos of their butts on social media, too.

But there’s more. The rise of the belfie has led to the creation of the belfie stick. I kid you not.

For all of you who have ever tried to take a picture of your butt with your phone, you must know how tricky that can be. And since it’s oh so tacky to take a photo of your butt while looking in the bathroom mirror, the belfie stick makes it easy for you to take a photo of your butt from any angle.

After spending several hours researching the BBL and the belfie stick, the shock of it all is causing my brain to swell inside my skull. How could I have been so ignorant of the big booty’s popularity? I suspect I’ve been living my life in some sort of parallel universe. Just before the belfie stick was invented, the universe as we know it probably split into two almost identical universes. And every once in a while, these two universes (the one I live in and the one that all the Belfie Believers inhabit) converge, giving everyone an insight into what the others have been doing since the Great Split.

The narcissistic version of me, who was left behind with the Belfie Believers, fell off the top of Mount Kinabalu while trying to take a photograph of her butt cleavage. I do not mourn her loss.

I prefer to stay in my universe, the one where I don’t have someone’s butt sticking in my face, and where women are celebrated for their intelligence, humanity, wit and grace. No ifs or butts about it.


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