I wish I knew more famous people.

Because at the current count, the list of famous people I know stands at zero. Quite a disappointing tally for someone who works in the entertainment industry, and has worked in this industry for the past 20 years.

Honestly, it makes me feel a bit like a disappointment. Especially when people find out what I do, and seem to expect me to regale them with tales of celebrity debauchery and the best I can offer is the time I drank too much Champagne before walking the Gucci runway and desperately needed to urinate. Yeah, tell-all books are not anchored with anecdotes about the time you nearly peed on stage – but then made it to the toilet without incident. Looking back, losing bladder control and soiling my outfit in public would have at least made for an interesting party story. Life is full of regrets.

At the very least, you’d think after modelling for a million years I would have stories about the time I partied with Taylor Kitsch before he got big, and I still have him on speed dial, but I don’t. Being totally honest, a disappointing number of my modelling friends became famous. It’s all their faults.

That’s not to say I haven’t had brushes with the famous. Britney Spears walked by me one time backstage at a Sears runway show, and then her mother followed – who was basically Britney Spears plus 30 years – and may have given me a bit of a hungry look, or she might have just been frowning because she was backstage at a Sears show. Or just genuinely hungry. I don’t know.

Then there’s Malin Ackerman, who has become a mainstay in Hollywood film, who I know. Know meaning I auditioned with her a bunch of times back in Toronto but if you asked her if she knows me, she would probably frown just like Britney Spears’ mum and say “Who”? So yeah, I don’t know Malin Ackerman.

And then there was the time Lou Gosset Jr tried to pick up my then girlfriend about a million years ago. Does anyone remember Lou Gosset Jr? There’s probably a cool T-shirt featuring him that dudes with beards like to wear and wink and nudge each other. Iron Eagle, baby!

These brushes with celebrity do not make for particularly interesting conversation fodder but that’s the best I’ve got. And before you think I’m being hard on myself, I’ve had friends who’ve partied with rock stars, been approached by A-list Hollywood actors for all sorts of liaisons that would best be swept under a rug, fist bumped young hip members of the royal family before they got bald and married. Yeah, this stuff happens. Just not to me.

So the question is: In a lifetime in fashion where was I?

Did I just manage to miss all the good nights out? Like every single one of them? So that seeing Britney’s Spears mum that one time is the best I can come up with?

I suppose it’s possible. In Tom Stoppards’ Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead, the two main characters flip a coin over and over and it keeps coming up tails, and although that’s improbable, it’s definitely not impossible. So maybe when flipping heads meant meeting a celebrity, I just kept coming up tails.

And maybe that’s it. Maybe the ship has sailed on knowing famous people for yours truly. Because at this point, unless one of my friends pulls a Morgan Freeman and gets famous at the age of 77 or whatever age Morgan Freeman was when he did Driving Miss Daisy, there’s probably not much hope left.

Except maybe there is. And the name of that hope is George Young. That’s right George Young, the actor/host has gone to Los Angeles and has a new show out called Containment. I watched a trailer the other day and got giddy seeing him in it.

Now, not to say George and I are naming our children after each other but we definitely know each other. He even follows me on Twitter so you know there’s something real there. But George may be the last real hope this writer has of being able to say, “I knew them before…”. That would be sweet.

So here’s wishing you the best of luck, George! Hope the new show rocks, and you can blow up. And in a decade or so you can expect me to knock on your door and ask for a place to stay. ’Cause what are famous friends good for if you can’t crash at their place for a few years?


Catch Jason Godfrey on The LINK on Life Inspired (Astro B.yond Ch 728).